Story of last year

This is my story of the past year - starting from the time I lost my job as part of the mass Microsoft lay-offs last summer and my journey for a year - what I learnt and how I grew. My version of eat, pray and love!

 

"Congratulations!
Today is your day.
You're off to Great Places!
You're off and away!”

"Your services are no longer needed." There isn't much else to be said about the lay off. I had not quite viewed my 11 years with the company as "services" I was providing but that was the reality. It was going to be an end of era, I knew I was going to miss my work and my team - both of which I had absolutely loved. My manager (who had also just lost her job) and I made our last day special by exchanging flowers and hugs. She also gave me a book, which is really a kids book by Dr. Seuss ("Oh the places you'll go") - but its message and timing could not have been more apt! Each page spoke to me and I am going to quote from that book through this write up.
 

“I'm sorry to say so
but, sadly, it's true
that Bang-ups
and Hang-ups
can happen to you.”

    

It did take me a while before I could read that book to  my son without choking. But with a working spouse, decent savings and no work authorization issues, this was not going to be the end of world by a long shot and I did not have to look for a job immediately. It did hurt my ego though and I did not want to take this lying down. My "rebound reaction" was signing up for a  month long yoga teacher training program in Vancouver - which was going to start within days of the lay-off. I had always loved yoga and it looked like a great opportunity to dive in deeper. It was a great program but the logistical challenges made it evident that I was going upstream, mainly to make myself feel in control, to pretend that I was going to lead this month on my own terms no matter what. Once I realized that, I cancelled from the program and took the time to slow down and to accept the change that had happened indeed.

 

“You can get so confused
that you'll start in to race
down long wiggled roads at a break-necking pace
and grind on for miles across weirdish wild space"

  

The timing of the 50 hour yin yoga teacher training program in Bala Yoga, Kirkland could not have been better. Yin yoga is a lot about slowing down, letting go - very complementary to our fast lifestyles where we are constantly in control. Not only was it great learning, it also convinced me that I was indeed ready for a complete teacher training program.

It made most sense for me to do the training in India - partly because India is my home country and I have all the support I need; but also because doing a yoga teacher training course in India is a thing! A dream for a lot of people. I planned my 3 month travel to India with my 3.5 year old! I was roughly going to spend a month each in Delhi, Kottakkal and Goa; and my husband was going to join in the last few weeks. 

 

“It's opener, out there,
in the wide, open air.”  

My journey started with Chennai where my brother lives with his family. It was fun family time, where me and my son got to meet his only first cousin for the first time. He turned one when we were there - so we even got to watch his first walking steps! Precious to be there for such milestones!

Our next stop was Kottakal (in Kerala) - home to one of the best Ayurvedic Institutes in India - Arya Vaidya Sala. I had earlier been diagnosed with IBS - a stomach ailment - which I had been managing fairly well for almost 1.5 years.  Despite my initial reluctance, my parents really convinced me to take the time to really heal from this; and gifted me a month long Ayurvedic treatment. 

Kerala is known as "God's own country" - and its for a good reason. Everyone there seemed happier and healthier to me :) - the weather must have a lot to do with it, but no one was in a hurry and everyone seemed relaxed. The month was a huge treat for me - with a therapeutic massage every single day; authentic vegetarian food (that I did not have to cook) and real time off with my parents and my son. It was awesome - sure I did some reading and some yoga but for the first time after maternity, I spent a long time with my son - playing all kinds of silly games, working on sticker books, making crafts, coloring, running, doing auto-rides without a destination (imagine explaining to that an auto-driver in sign language), the list goes on. Really got the opportunity to tune into his world and it was beautiful! Honestly I had been terrified about the idea of no day care; and imagining what it would be like being with a little monkey for 3 months; I was also a little worried about his missing school and the learning. But I was surprised, it ended up being such an amazing bonding time for me with my son. Nobody was in a rush - no school, no traffic, no strict schedules, not even sight seeing - just real relaxation. Pure joy.  All that "cliché" about spending time with your kids - its all true. And it became clear to me that the best I can ever give my child is unhurried attention.

As luxurious as it sounds, it was still a huge change for my system and it took me some time to accept. "Doing nothing" is not something our minds rationalize very easily especially for a month. A full calendar and the constant doing - gives us a strange satisfaction; and I sometimes think its a little addictive - we get a kick out of being busy and we can hardly do without it. Looking at the relaxed attitude of the locals in Kerala, I could feel how rushed lives we lead; and how its effects on our bodies and minds add up over the years. The Ayurvedic treatment was attempting to undo some of it and restoring a more natural state of being.

I did benefit a lot from the course - both physically and mentally. I also read some white-papers that their library had; and after spending a lot of time talking to the doctor there, I have a much deeper understanding of what is good health for me, what my body considers true nutrition and what lifestyle is best for me. 

Now over to the next part of the journey - my yoga adventure. It had taken me a long time to figure out which yoga place was going to work for me - my criteria was - a yoga alliance certified, credible school, preferably by the ocean, where I could keep my son on campus. (Yes, you can ask for all of this in India) My in-laws had graciously accepted to be with my son while I was doing my yoga. And in Goa I found a place where I could do all of this. After a brief stop in Delhi, my in-laws, my son and I made it to Patnem beach in Goa! We had a perfect win-win arrangement where my son would get to spend time with his grandparents, and still see me couple of times a day and play at the beach every day. And yet again, it did not feel perfect for the first couple of days.

"I'm afraid that some times
you'll play lonely games too.
Games you can't win
'cause you'll play against you.”

 

My mind kept bugging me - "I hope this school is actually good", "Am I even ready for such a physically challenging undertaking", "These people are charging way too much money" "why are there so many mosquitoes and street dogs here" etc etc. We were 28 of us in our batch - all from different parts of the world and we probably all had our own share of anxieties as we were settling in;  it was almost as though the philosophy teacher had read our minds; and during the inaugural ceremony, gave us a golden nugget (which our batch ended up loving and using at every opportune moment):  "Everything is Om" (Read more about Om)

The philosophy teacher was a very learned, very funny and a light hearted person. He gave us many such nuggets, and often so casually and amidst so many jokes. But the more I think about it - the more I like the nugget of everything is om. Everything that is happening in our lives is a vibration of the supreme, seed sound of the universe. The more we notice what we are resisting; the more we can stop resisting and start going with the flow - accepting that where we are right here, right now, is exactly where we are meant to be. The nugget is easy to remember and always brings a smile on my face; and when faced with a challenge it helps me to relax before my mind decides to corner itself and obsess with some or the other drama of life.

Yoga facing the ocean, and the sun every single day; regular meditation; breathing exercises; a beach to go swim in; and the treasure of learning something brand new - what was not to like? Felt very connected to nature again - a rare treat in December! It was amazing to connect with people from so many different countries. It was very liberating to see so many people in their twenties taking the time to travel and explore - without too much worry about their careers or next paycheck or in some cases even the next destination :). True freedom - which I often feel people like me from India often miss out on - because we are always on to the next "important" thing.

The detailed review of the course that I posted on Tripadvisor can be found here - Towards the end of the course something had shifted within me - I felt a lot stronger and a lot happier. It was the state of mind when you are in a constant state of peace, fairly fearless, no anxiety, you smile more easily more often, you look better (I had lost a size), you have a bounce in your step and you tip better ;) - in other words you are more alive!

 

“Out there things can happen, and frequently do,
To people as brainy and footsy as you.
And when things start to happen, don't worry, don't stew.
Just go right along, you'll start happening too!”  

 

And this spell of bliss continued for a few weeks after the course (I continued to practice of course) I was really glad I did this course, and I am also sure that this is only my first course; and I will do many more in the future. I took the advice of my teachers in Goa and started looking for a place where I could teach. I explored yoga studios also but finally decided on building a steady rhythm at Bellevue Hindi temple. Initially teaching was nerve wrecking but I have grown a lot over the months; I am really happy and proud to have helped build this community which gets together every week for yoga!

 “You have brains in your head.

You have feet in your shoes.

You can steer yourself any direction you choose.

You're on your own.

And you know what you know.

And YOU are the one who'll decide where to go...”  

After settling back in Seattle, it was finally time for me to think about my career. Since my husband already had a full time corporate job, I had the luxury to think what makes most sense for our family in the long term - and to explore if non-corporate job could provide for a steady stream of income. Thanks to the program that Microsoft had offered to its alumni, I came in contact with one of the leading coaches on franchising in the area. I attended his presentations, researched it, and also had the opportunity to connect with a lot of ex-Microsoft people who had gone on to own franchise businesses of their own - they were all smart, amazing people - and were now independent (of corporate). They were all thriving and they all considered their move to business very liberating. I could see a lot of promise in owning your own business - you could follow your own vision really exercising some of your muscles that don’t get used in corporate, you would have more flexibility and a lifestyle of your choice, and a way to earn money independent of the corporate world, and set the path for financial independence, regardless of "retirement". Talking to real people who had made that jump - made it more exciting and tangible for me. I started talking to a particular franchise. I talked to a lot of owners of that franchise - mostly US and Canada. They were all people from varied backgrounds, varied skill sets and of course running different sizes of  business. It all sounded pretty exciting and very doable. But I could not get myself to make the investment, to make the jump yet. We were not fully onboard with the value add that the business was bringing to people; and also to see returns in a new business required a commitment to the city for a fair amount of time - and we were not sure we were that committed to Seattle.

“Simple it's not,

I'm afraid you will find,

for a mind maker-upper
to make up his mind”

 

I also explored another business for a brief period - which was less like franchising, and more of an independent small business - and it involved some friends and people I knew. That sounded pretty awesome also - but yet again the returns on that business did not seem convincing enough for me from a financial standpoint.

“You will come to a place where the streets are not marked.
Some windows are lighted. but mostly they're darked.
A place you could sprain both your elbow and chin!
Do you dare to stay out? Do you dare to go in?
How much can you lose? How much can you win?” 

  

It was around this time that my husband started to feel burnt with his corporate job and it became obvious to him that he was ready for a break himself; and to start the journey of his explorations. And that made it obvious to me that I should look for jobs. I feel really happy that as a team we could enable each other to explore alternate paths without burning our savings.

I do not regret the time that I spent making these explorations - I am definitely richer to have taken the time to explore what this space looks like. I have a lot of new found respect for the businesses that I always took for granted. And I also think of this as the seeding of the idea - you never know, I might still do it in the future. I am still pretty convinced that the kind of ownership and excitement your own business offers, is hard to match when you are following someone else's vision. While corporate seems to work really well in our younger years, my general reading is that when you are older corporate is less interested in you, and you may or may not be interested in corporate also. That makes me think that finding something that gives you most satisfaction in your older years and brings in a steady stream of income is wise; and potentially worth looking at as early as you can.

Even though I had not interviewed outside Microsoft for a decade, this was the most familiar space for me as compared to the other things I had been exploring. Once you are willing to jump in, it’s a fairly standard process - read a few books, read up about the company in question, revise what you have done in your career, dress nicely - and then it becomes a drill. How easy or hard that drill is - is more or less a function of the market and the market was not bad when I started looking. I was also fortunate to have a close group of friends who helped me find the right resources whenever I needed it, helped with mock interviews, and helped me keep positive and inspired in general. Also the big group of people who had been laid off from Microsoft had turned to become a huge, powerful and helpful community as well. If you ignore the butterflies in stomach feeling a few times during this process, interviewing is mostly a fun exercise - meeting different people, having their undivided attention, learning about different companies is actually fun. Microsoft is such a huge force in this area - it has set the benchmark for so many things here in Seattle. The funny thing about looking for jobs in this area, even if you are strictly looking outside Microsoft, is that almost everyone you talk to is an ex-Microsoftie - in some ways there is an unsaid respect and camaraderie (or so I think); but also a lot of probing; there was not one company that did not want to know complete details of my career trajectory; and there was no way around conversations about how they are different from Microsoft. Surprisingly no probing around lay-off at all-  which I think is because it was in such big numbers that everyone in the area knew. Its all good, all part of the game. I spent the summer playing the game of interviewing and finally had the luxury of choice. And joined a small company with a strong leadership and feel pretty good about the choice.

“So be sure when you step,
Step with care and great tact.
And remember that life's A Great Balancing Act.
Just never forget to be dexterous and deft.
And never mix up your right foot with your left.

And will you succeed?
Yes! You will, indeed!
(98 and 3/4 percent guaranteed.)”    

Microsoft was a big part of my formative years. Microsoft taught me what good solid well rounded software development is all about. It was at Microsoft that I saw amazing leaders in person, in action; and a lot of amazingly smart hard working people who would go to great lengths to do the right thing; for a wide spectrum of users. And most people I knew were great to work with and plain great to know. It was also at Microsoft that I learnt so many values - values that I now hold close to my heart. I deeply recognized the significance of respect, openness, empowerment and diversity - this is so deeply embedded in everything that Microsoft does for its employees. I also learnt the value of giving at Microsoft - not many companies will take a position of matching every dollar you donate, every minute you volunteer. Microsoft gave me my first check after college, and literally opened up my world by enabling me to work and live in USA. A long memorable journey!

 While I would not wish a lay-off on anyone, it is indeed quite a treat to spend an entire year exploring and looking at things diferently! And that is something to wish for indeed!

 

"Oh the places you'll go!
There is fun to be done!
There are points to be scored.
There are games to be won.

Today is your day!
Your mountain is waiting.
So...get on your way!

 

And will you succeed?
Yes! You will, indeed!
(98 and 3/4 percent guaranteed.)"